It's halloween night but I'm not excited at all. Comparing to last year, this is totally different. Last year I went to club in Denver to see a costume competition. Though I didn't dress up as my friends did, I enjoyed the moment with friends. This year, even sad, holloween is really a hollow night. I had the interview with t-mobile this morning and I know that I did so many mistakes during the interview. The position is what I've dreamt of. I can feel that it's suddenly gone from my hand.

I am discouraged to apply a job after several interviews. In the interview, they test how clever you are to work for their companies, but I feel like that they test how stupid you can go. The feeling that I suck is still with me, eventhough the interviews were over. Life is tough when you're getting older to find out that you're not good enough for something. Inside, I'm sure of my abilities to do everything, just I don't know how to express to someone else.

Good side is that I still feel that I did my best and it's a good opportunity for me to get to know how to express myself to strengthen my skills and experience. I believe that if I keep practicing it, I will get a job one day. So, the very very short-term goal is that I should do it better than I did last time. The very very very short-term goal is that do I really want a job here?!?!?