Seattle market overview :

1st for accessing the Internet
2nd for staying in an upscale hotel
3rd for having a higher education or degree
4th for owning stocks
4th for buying red wine
5th for owning a Mercedes-Benz
6th for owning a PDA
7th for attending a professional sporting event
8th for visiting an art museum
9th for going skiing

WoW! ...I just realize that I'm living in such a high social class!

As I said in my last blog, I'm not very good at expressing myself at all - both personal and professional.

I don't know when it happens to me but guess that it would be during my times at Accenture 'coz most of the time I talked to computer or talked to someone over computer. -- less social, more geeky --

When I face the fact that I don't live in the world I used to be, it's hard to confront it. I think it's the result of my low spirit from my failure from interviews. I didn't know how hard to get a job 'coz I've never faced it. You can imagine that like a virgin girl in a cruel world :P .. But then I realized that my age seem to kill myself. I'm getting old and getting to view things complex, not as simple as I used to. Some things ,when I was young, I just got them done easily 'coz I didn't even know that I was stepping out of comfort zone. -- no concern, no stress -- I just did it as I knew from others (parents, managers, friends, etc.) that I had to do it. One day I just see them hard to get through...yeah, it's called Midlife Crisis...Am I that old? Nah, I just realize it when I am still considering myself young.

Again, I'm not good at expressing myself at all :D

Interview questions:

Position: Demand Planner
Company: T-Mobile

Tell me about your experience.
Any experiences about forecasting and planning?
What would be your keys for demand forecasting and planning?
What're the manager's characteristics that you would like to work with?
What do you see yourself 2-4 years from now?
What's the environment that you would like to work in?

It's halloween night but I'm not excited at all. Comparing to last year, this is totally different. Last year I went to club in Denver to see a costume competition. Though I didn't dress up as my friends did, I enjoyed the moment with friends. This year, even sad, holloween is really a hollow night. I had the interview with t-mobile this morning and I know that I did so many mistakes during the interview. The position is what I've dreamt of. I can feel that it's suddenly gone from my hand.

I am discouraged to apply a job after several interviews. In the interview, they test how clever you are to work for their companies, but I feel like that they test how stupid you can go. The feeling that I suck is still with me, eventhough the interviews were over. Life is tough when you're getting older to find out that you're not good enough for something. Inside, I'm sure of my abilities to do everything, just I don't know how to express to someone else.

Good side is that I still feel that I did my best and it's a good opportunity for me to get to know how to express myself to strengthen my skills and experience. I believe that if I keep practicing it, I will get a job one day. So, the very very short-term goal is that I should do it better than I did last time. The very very very short-term goal is that do I really want a job here?!?!?